I couldn't have expressed my feelings about Raisin any better. She is not perfect, but neither am I. We both do the best we can with what we've been given and we are both lucky to have each other and everyone else who loves us, flaws and all. That being said, there are certainly days when I wish we just had a "normal" dog. I experience feelings of jealousy when I see other people talking on the street, their dog-social dogs greeting each other properly. I also get wistful about the good times we could have had at the dog park, what it would be like to be able to bring Raisin on errand runs, and all of the other things we don't get to enjoy with our little girl. However, mostly, I just wish that Raisin could have some doggy friends. I feel like she is missing out on a huge part of being a dog and it breaks my heart.
But then, I look at her smile in her sleep, feel her warm little body snuggle up against me, wipe the kisses off my face, and I am happy because we found our perfect match, and I love Raisin, issues and all. So what are her issues, you ask?
Well, Raisin is very leash reactive around other dogs and any unexpected stimuli (e.g. runners who come up too quickly, bikers who ride too close to us, etc.) When we're surprised with a runner, Raisin will sometimes give a warning yelp, but the second the runner passes, she is over it and moving on. The same cannot be said of our experience with other dogs.
When we first adopted Raisin, her foster family sent an email stating that she sometimes got grumbly with new dogs, but that for the most part, she was very good on leash. Our adoption coordinator told us "She may never be a dog park dog". We totally accepted this and stated it was okay, because we didn't have to be dog park people. During the first week, we approached new dogs with caution and Raisin showed appropriate interest and was able to handle sniffing and being sniffed in greeting. We even spent a blissful Christmas week with my family where Raisin played with my parents' dog, Toni:
Sadly, forgetting about the trauma Raisin suffered before coming to us and moving too quickly for her comfort, we left Toni and Raisin loose on Christmas Eve with over 20 people, several small children, and lots of noise present. After a couple of hours, something caused Raisin to get upset and she attacked Toni. She gave her a warning bite on the ear before we were able to separate them. The next morning, we brought them together again and Toni immediately growled at Raisin and Raisin lunged at her, trying to attack her again.. Obviously, looking back at it, we handled the entire situation incorrectly. We should have done longer introductions, we should have separated them during a high-stress occasion like Christmas Eve and we should have given them more space before trying to reintroduce them after the fight. But, hindsight is 20/20 and by the time we got back to our condo, Raisin had full-blown leash aggression. She couldn't see another dog, let alone be close to one, without her having a major meltdown.
We contacted her trainer (due to Raisin being adopted through OTAT's Court Case Dog Program, she comes with free training for life) and told her about the issues we were having. She came over and we began individual training sessions. I learned how to anticipate other dogs, keep Raisin's attention diverted, and try to work with her on positive associations with new pooches. Unfortunately, a year and a half and a Growl class later, and we still have a very dog reactive pooch. On the bright side, my confidence in handling Raisin has never been higher. I know how to help her through a dog sighting. We can now confidently pass other dogs across the street without any reaction and she settles down after a close encounter within a couple of minutes (as opposed to freaking out for the rest of the walk).
Although I know Raisin will never be a dog-social dog, I couldn't love her any more if I tried. She is perfect for us and I cannot imagine our lives without her. She is a daily reminder that we are all doing the best that we can with the lives we are given and that we should all be doing a little less judging and a lot more loving.
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